- Solution-focused approach
- Blends analysis and skills
- Supports intimacy issues
About Toby
Toby Messer is a psychotherapist who takes a solution-focused and analytical approach. He aims to help people understand the root of their behaviour and emotions and to make practical changes that matter now.
He blends behavioural methods such as cognitive behavioural therapy with analytical thinking to tackle patterns that keep people stuck. Sessions look at what people do day to day and the earlier experiences that shaped those habits. This combination is intended to produce changes that last beyond the therapy room.
Toby has 11 years of experience and holds NCPS as a listed credential. He works with a wide range of concerns, including stress, anxiety, relationship difficulties, grief, self-esteem, depression, addictions, and intimacy-related issues such as jealousy.
He also supports people facing parenting strain, caregiving stress, chronic illness and pain, body image worries, ADHD, and issues around attachment and abandonment. Toby pays attention to how life events, work pressures and personal history interact to affect current feelings and choices.
In sessions he uses clear, practical exercises alongside talking work. People can expect attention to immediate goals, tools for day-to-day coping, and slower exploration of deeper patterns when needed. This mix aims to help people make steady progress at a pace that suits them.
He blends behavioural methods such as cognitive behavioural therapy with analytical thinking to tackle patterns that keep people stuck. Sessions look at what people do day to day and the earlier experiences that shaped those habits. This combination is intended to produce changes that last beyond the therapy room.
Toby has 11 years of experience and holds NCPS as a listed credential. He works with a wide range of concerns, including stress, anxiety, relationship difficulties, grief, self-esteem, depression, addictions, and intimacy-related issues such as jealousy.
He also supports people facing parenting strain, caregiving stress, chronic illness and pain, body image worries, ADHD, and issues around attachment and abandonment. Toby pays attention to how life events, work pressures and personal history interact to affect current feelings and choices.
In sessions he uses clear, practical exercises alongside talking work. People can expect attention to immediate goals, tools for day-to-day coping, and slower exploration of deeper patterns when needed. This mix aims to help people make steady progress at a pace that suits them.
How his approaches fit with online therapy
Toby uses cognitive behavioural ideas to help people change unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. CBT focuses on practical exercises and clear strategies, which can work well in structured online sessions and short skill-focused meetings.He also draws on attachment-based work to look at how early relationships shape current reactions. Attachment-based approaches help with intimacy issues, trust and patterns that show up in relationships, and these subjects can be explored through conversation and reflective exercises in remote counselling.
Finding the right approach is part of the work together. The therapist will discuss goals and preferences and decide collaboratively which methods to use, adjusting the balance between skills work and deeper exploration based on what the client needs.
The biography does not list specific session formats, so please confirm the current options before booking. Many people find online sessions easier to fit around work, travel less, or use shorter check-ins when they need a quick practical focus. Others appreciate longer meetings for deeper reflection; the therapist will help match session length and style to everyday life and practical goals.
Areas of expertise
Primary focus
Also works with
AddictionsLGBTFamily conflictsTrauma and abuseIntimacy-related issuesEating disordersSleeping disordersParenting issuesAnger managementCareer difficultiesBipolar disorderCoping with life changesCoachingCompassion fatigueADHD
Additional focus areas
AbandonmentAging and geriatric issuesAntisocial personalityAttachment issuesBDSM, kink, and alternative sex cultureBlended family issuesBody imageCancerCaregiver issues and stressChronic pain, illness, and disabilityCodependencyCommitment issuesCommunication problemsControl issuesCoping with natural or human-caused disasterDependent personalityDisruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)DissociationDivorce and separationDomestic violenceDrug and alcohol addictionEating and food-related issuesEmptinessFamily of origin issuesFamily problemsFatherhood issuesFertility issuesFirst responder issuesForgivenessGender dysphoriaGuilt and shameHoardingHospice and end-of-life counselingImpulsivityInfidelityIsolation / lonelinessJealousyLife purposeMen's issuesMidlife crisisVeteran and Armed Forces IssuesMoney and financial issuesMood disordersMulticultural concernsNarcissismObsessions, compulsions, and OCDPanic disorder and panic attacksParanoiaPersonality disordersPhobiasPolyamory / non-monogamous relationshipsPostpartum depressionPost-traumatic stressPregnancy and childbirthProcess addiction (porn, exercise, gambling)Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)Self-harmSelf-loveSex addictionSexual assault and abuseSexual dysfunctionSexualitySocial anxiety and phobiaTrichotillomaniaWorkplace issuesYoung adult issues
Therapeutic approaches
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)Attachment-Based TherapyClient-Centered TherapyCognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)Existential TherapyJungian TherapyMindfulness TherapyMotivational InterviewingPsychodynamic TherapySolution-Focused TherapyTrauma-Focused TherapySystemic Therapy
Experience
11+ years
Credentials
See below
Languages
English
Frequently asked questions
What kinds of problems does this counsellor help with?
Toby works with many concerns such as stress, anxiety, depression, grief, addictions, self-esteem, relationship and intimacy issues including jealousy.
What is his general therapeutic style?
He combines solution-focused and analytical ways of working, pairing practical exercises with discussion of personal history to address patterns and current problems.
How much experience does he have?
He has 11 years of clinical experience working with a broad range of mental health and relationship concerns.
What credentials and location are associated with this counsellor?
The listed credential is NCPS and the practitioner is based in the United Kingdom.
In which languages can I speak with him?
Sessions are offered in English.
What session formats are offered?
The original biography does not specify session formats, so please confirm current session options before booking.
How does payment and cost work?
Cost varies with location and therapist availability; sessions use a subscription that can be cancelled at any time.
How do I start therapy with him?
Select the continue button on this profile, complete a short matching questionnaire, and schedule sessions according to therapist availability.